dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Michael Bay diarrhea
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize