i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
