making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize