halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
