There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
