im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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