I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
