I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
