you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You made out with two different species that night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
