Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
