We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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