Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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