I feel like I'm in dance class right now
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
