Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
