She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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