I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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