...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
