Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
