Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
