what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
