I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize