Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
