Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
