Porn is love you can see.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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