i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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