highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
