Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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