Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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