just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
