if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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