you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize