So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
