I can't breathe out the right side of my face
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize