i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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