oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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