that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
