i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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