I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
