Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
