party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
