question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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