What a fucking waste of an outfit
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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