So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
