this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
