I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize