great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
