if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize