I'm really into asian looking animals
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
