I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
