last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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