wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
