This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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