i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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