I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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