i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
