The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
