Small penises have feelings too.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
