Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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