i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
false alarm, still single
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
