I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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