I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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