I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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