Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
