Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
