She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In other news, I just burned my penis
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
