Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
