Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
