I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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