someone threw a dead crab at me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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