At least make sure they are 18
Why
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
