it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
4 words: hood of his car
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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