you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
