I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
