some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
