Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My vagina is officially offended.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
