At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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