I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
worst night to have a conscience
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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