she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
