I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
